


Carry me

by N_Chamomile



Series: Carry me [1]
Category: Mystic Messenger (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Comfort/Angst, F/M, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-06
Updated: 2018-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-15 09:06:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 7
Words: 15,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9228158
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/N_Chamomile/pseuds/N_Chamomile
Summary: Warning: Mentions of abuse (nothing graphic!)AU where all of the RFA are completely obsessed with MC the princess of the story, they become so very obsessed with her that they keep her in a golden cage. The RFA is the bad guy and the MC is tormented by each and every one in the RFA. Until her prince comes and saves her. Or at least tries to.





	1. Chapter 1

While you sleep, dream of me. I will be keeping all those memories, hidden deeply in my heart. No one can take away those moments we shared, no one can take away the memories of you beneath my body, your shivering body, your gasps and how sweet your voice sounded as you called out my name, over and over again.

Throughout the night you whispered softly to me “Take me away, free me from here. My prince, carry me to a better life.”

In your eyes I saw how strongly you believed that I was a prince, how you were lost in your own world, believing any word I uttered. And how stupid I was for trying to give you the world. But you know my lovely princess, I would say those words over and over again, if it meant that you would become mine.

So it was no wonder, that as I saw how you longed to flee from that gold cage they made for you. How perfect it all seemed to be, but how broken it actually was – it was all hidden so perfectly. Except, they never would have guessed, that their prize, their lovely princess would try to break free.

The princess … was never as naïve as they thought she was. Silly how they just declared her to be the new Rika, how quickly they obsessed over the little miss. How they never truly cared for who she actually was, how in the long run, she even forgot about who she actually was.

But the princess waited patiently, she waited and waited in the dark castle filled with lies and dark, twisted love.

Everyone in the organization, that she thought of as her friend … in the end turned out to be the one who controlled her and molded her to their liking.

The innocent Yoosung Kim, who tried so many times to change her into Rika, who was blind to see the person who she was, who tried to dye her hair, make her wear contacts and who never let her talk to other guys out of the RFA. The lovely Jaehee, who always wanted a friend that would understand, found someone she could vent to, a doll that never spoke back, someone who would only listen and nod and here and there give words of encouragement. But did she ever try to listen to the pleas of the small princess? Of course not, there never was time for that. So the princess shut herself down, she was merely a puppet. How about Zen? He loved how she only smiled and encouraged him, he loved how she would nod at his narcissism and how easily he could take her at any moment, she could hardly say no to someone as handsome as him, right?

Then Jumin Han, who took every opportunity he could to have her near him and the perfect plan was, to make him her home assistant, to insure that she was there where he could see her. He was lucky, for there were still small glimpses of her true self there, when he fell for her. Out of all of them, he saw the most of who she was. That smile she gave him was true, the words she spoke to him, how she believed in him and all those tasks she did, she did them because strangely enough, there she felt safe. Even if he was completely obsessed with her and even if he was so scared to lose her, she felt safe in his arms. Strangely enough she grew to love him.

But this story is not a story about them, so you might have guessed, something in Jumin snapped and he changed. His gentle gaze turned to a crazed one, his soft kisses grew to be hungry and rough kisses, those careful touches; that she loved so much, were now exchanged for bruises on her delicate body. It was only to discipline her, it was to keep her close. He trained her, he made her learn new things, he made her look a certain way, behave properly and like a wonderful lady, while also whimper beneath his touch and be his personal slave.

Well, dear ol’ 707 did nothing, he felt as if she was safer with all that abuse, he soon helped his friends out. He thought that she was brought to them for that reason alone, to be used by them, to give them some sort of comfort and well, since she never complained to anyone, she probably liked it, no?

Therefore it is no wonder that they decided to share her. But on the condition that she would remain in, well in a cage. It was for her safety, she was safe behind that big golden cage that resembled a bird’s cage, it was intricate with its golden details of flowers and birds, but the most beautiful creation remained locked behind bars.

And she believed, that they loved her, somewhere inside of them, they would know, they had to know, and that it was wrong what they did to her.

With time all of them grew to be more and more violent, they did not hurt her with just words, but with their hands, whips, what they could find. They stopped when it was too much, they held her close when she started to shed tears.

After a while the small bird, stopped to sing. She was only a shadow of her former self. She was always dressed beautifully, seated amongst the loveliest things money could buy. A wonderful doll she became to be.

She still smiled, even if her eyes were dead, she still smiled. But they liked her that way, she was safe and she was theirs.

At nights, when no one saw her, when they all left her to rest up, she couldn’t sleep. It was at those times, all of her came alive and started to gasp for air, she felt how all the pain she swallowed was hurting in her chest, how the weight sat deep in her tummy, how it burned to breathe and how she couldn’t even scream out. How she hated herself for what she became was something she never wanted to be. But it was too late for her, she would probably perish by the hand of one of them. Maybe then she would find peace.

Not one member knew of her grief, if they did, she was sure that they would hurt her and restrict her even more. Well, one was quite aware of what she was going through, and even if it did remind him of his childhood, he thought that she is at least…safe. Right?

She will never be safe. Not if she is to stay in a cage.

But ladies and gentleman, here comes the hero, the one who will save our princess.

She is a damsel in distress and I am the who will save her and punish everyone that made her go through so much anguish.

The night is still, not a mouse can be heard in this big estate, ah! You might ask, but where is the princess? You see, she was hidden in a castle. What a silly idea? Well a princess deserves a castle, doesn’t she, a castle where the golden cage wouldn’t look that out of place. The castle was safely hidden in the woods in the same woods where my hideout was. The one place I call home.

It took me quite a while to be able to go through the security they put up, but well I am no fool. There was a flaw in the system, so small and unnoticeable that it made everything possible. Climbing over the gates, opening the gates, while the cameras were frozen, and through the hall and just a few steps there was the huge cage and in the back, hidden with flowers and pillows were you, awake, simply staring at me. You truly looked perfect, your long silky hair, cascading like waves, your complexion was pale, your lips were rose red, but your eyes were far too dead. But I would soon change that.

With a simple pin I opened your cage and walked towards you, your eyes started to look more alive then. I crouched down and looked you in the eyes. “Princess, I am sorry that it took me such a long while to come and save you.”

You blinked a few times and in all those months of confinement and not speaking for such a long while all you could muster with your soft voice was: “Thank you.”

I stretched out my hand in a sign for you to lay yours on top of it. “Come, we must go.” But you wouldn’t move, you didn’t do anything.

Then you simply pulled up your dress, showing me your legs, which were wrapped in bandages.

“Broken.” You uttered.

Hate, hate, so much hate was burning inside of me. I was clenching my jaw, there was no way I could carry you over the gate. There was no way, you would be able to make it. 

Not today.

Not … today.

I sank to the ground and held my head, I planned it all, how I would save you, and how you would be free. But never could I have guessed that they would literally break you! Then I felt how gently you put your hand on my head and as I looked up, I swear by all the gods humans believe in, your smile was astonishingly breathtaking. You smiled with such serenity and spoke.

“You will save me, won’t you, my prince?”

I vowed then at there that I would save you and if it was the last I would do.

But until your wounds healed, I would visit you and at those times you told me, your story.

One day, as I came by and as your complexion was healthier, your eyes shone brighter and as you welcomed me with such joy, I instantly melted, but as you called my name, I was about to break down.

“Sa-saeran! Today, I will share with you my secrets!” So I sat there next to you and you began to tell me how you were made. You explained that in the beginning, you were a small dying star, soon to find their end. But then a man came, a strange looking man, he called himself the wizard. He told you of these people who wished dearly to be saved, who wanted to be free, happy and joyful. But their wishes weren’t pure enough, so he couldn’t make them ALL happy. So he came with a request, he would save you and make you a mortal woman. Well you were maybe stronger that the average, but human nonetheless. So, what you would do – you would make them happy no matter what. If you belonged to one, so be it. 

“Wait, but you didn’t gain anything so far. Or did you?” 

At that you simply smiled and looked into the distance. “You see, stars can live for a very long while, we see many things but we don’t experience them, naturally I welcomed the offer. But the wizard promised me, if it was too much, someone would save me.”

Someone? Was that meant to be me?

As I pondered that question, I suddenly heard a car outside. Oh no, if I would be found, neither of us would live. As I looked to my princess she didn’t look scared or frightened, she looked strong and with that she grasped my hand and said,

“Go, flee from here, my darling knight so that you can come back and save me!” With her last words for the day, I leaned to her and kissed her forehead.

“Be safe, princess.”

I ran into the night, this can’t be the end. For our journey has only begun and I vowed to protect her. I jumped over the fence, ran through the woods and I ran and ran as fast as I could, for the only image keeping me alive was her face, her face as she smiled at me.

But as a figure appeared in front of me – a figure that could mean the end for us, I wasn’t so sure, I could keep my promise anymore.


	2. Never let us go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where all of the RFA are completely obsessed with MC the princess of the story, they become so very obsessed with her that they keep her in a golden cage. The RFA is the bad guy and the MC is tormented by each and every one in the RFA. Until her prince comes and saves her. Or at least tries to. 
> 
> This part is MC’s POV and her experiences, how she deals with the whole situation.

After I had to say goodbye to my only chance of being free, I knew exactly what was coming. It was him, who came in, the reason my prince had to leave so soon. After being locked in this cage, I was able to distinguish all of their steps from each other. Yoosung would normally run towards me, he always was out of breath and couldn’t wait until he could be near me. At first I found it adorable, at first it did seem like he couldn’t await the moment when he could be close to me. But after a while I knew what truthful motives hid behind those cute eyes. He was always out of breath and he always NEEDED me, he always tried to erase any marks any other of them left behind. He would yell at no one in particular “How dare they, how dare they make you so ugly.” I was ugly in his eyes, for each and every one of them used me in different ways. There never was a day when one of them wouldn’t do something with me.

Yoosung became intense over time, since his loss of Rika, he feared that he would lose me too. So no wonder he agreed to the cage. Since it was the only thing that could keep me in one spot and not let anyone else have me. He had his dark side, which would unleash itself at times. His dark side, it loved me more than any other of them. It loved me so much it tried to engulf me. It tried to keep me in darkness so that we would be together. His eyes looked crazed, but there was so much love behind them, it suffocated me. The words the dark Yoosung would whisper, were sweet promises of release, how in this world, there was no one who would know how to love me. How I was too much for one person to love. How magnificent I was and how only he and he meant oonly he – the dark Yoosung could even grasp to love me. You might think he made love to me like a beast? No, dark Yoosung was gentle, dark Yoosung cried as he loved me. He hated how he couldn’t control himself at times and would hurt me and then hurt himself. He hated how he promised to love me, but he couldn’t, because he was but a small part of the real Yoosung. The real one who tried to see me, but only saw Rika, the real Yoosung – who was rough and made the dark one cry. The real Yoosung who hated so many things about this arrangement. He hated how when he would visit, Zen or Jumin would leave their marks on me. How I was never truly his or theirs. Though sharing was a problem, he soon obliged and agreed to it. If this was the only way for him to have me, so be it. Even if it would break him every time he thought of any of them having me, touching me, kissing me. He would much rather have me like this in a secluded area in a cage, where he could come and take me if it were his wish. Where I never could say no. I couldn’t, I lost all of my strength to fight. As Yoosung visited, I was always dressed in bright colored dresses, my hair would fall loosely and in waves down my shoulders. He always wanted to play board games, make me coffee and cook together. But it seemed he got mad at how I looked at him, my look was full of pity as he explained how he missed Rika and wished I would turn into her. That angered him so much, that in his anger he chose to break my leg. After he stopped hiting me, after I was lying motionless on the floor the dark Yoosung chose to come out. It was always like this, as if they made an agreement “the sweet one” would hurt me and pretend to be the good boy, whereas the dark one would patch me back up. It made me delirious and anxious, because you never know, which one will be the one to hurt you. But at least for now, he was forbidden to see me. Jumin would probably never let him visit me again, after he broke my leg.

When Zen came to visit, those were the times I was scared the most, because he seemed so normal, so composed and oh so lovely. His sweet words would try and cover the bruises and the mean words from the other day any of them would make. Those words, as sweet as they were, they were venom to my body. It hurt to look at him, at how perfect he was and how perfect he wanted me to be. How I was to always look beautiful, like a princess befitting of such a prince. It was horrible how possessive he actually was. How he hated to share, how he hated the mere thought of Jumin making love to me. And how Jumin would tease him with marking my skin everywhere he could think of. So when Zen tried to make love to me it was mostly him pounding himself inside of me, over and over and over again. He was a beast, when he “made love” his rationality would leave him. His touches were rough and aggressive, he didn’t mind if I bled, he didn’t mind if my body turned blue – as long as his knuckles turned white. He was always on top and I on the ground. He said, he loved seeing me beneath him, how I became a mess but was still beautiful. He loved how my hair was splayed around me like a halo, but at the same time my neck was covered in bruises, which his hands made. He was the roughest of them all. So rough my other leg broke.

He never loved me. 

He craved me. 

He carved himself deep inside of me.

When Jaehee visited, her steps were careful and slow, but she did come inside with a certain amount of anger. She was kind at first, she let me believe that she would never hurt me, that she was there for me and only me. That I only needed to be there for her and listen. But at times, when she was frustrated with herself she would grasp my hair and pull it, she would hold my head and scream at me, she would make me eat from the floor. But mostly she would make me just sit there in front of her naked, while she would just stare. She wanted me, but she feared what would become of her, could she even face herself with loving a woman. And then, when she was so angry with herself and her situation at work, she would slap my skin and as it turned from red to blue, she would kiss it and then just leave me be.  
I hated it. I hated it when they would visit me, I hated it how the maids would dress me for them. How I was a different person for each of them. I hated how the doctor would always do checkups on me and would never save me. I seemed healthy enough, he said. He admired how strong my body and will were, he would always leer at my body and made me hate myself. I was an experiment it seemed. “For how long can a mere human body last?” I hated how the maids enjoyed playing dolls with me, how they would roughly wash me and make me feel like dirt. All the while placing me in my seat, where I was to sit as a doll in waiting for the next one.   
The next one who would visit, would walk slowly but if you listened you could hear his breathing, which was deep and feral. He could hardly hold back at times. When he came, they dressed me in white, my hair would fall loose and I was to wear no shoes. I was to sit still, quietly and in one place. If he would wish for it at times, he would make me sing, play the piano, whatever he wished for I did in silence and calmly. That is how he liked it – me looking like a doll that did as he wished. He wanted to see me pure and angelic. But the pure me was long gone. After so many times of being hurt and broken, after so many times of wishing it would be over – the pure heart was hidden deep in a shell of ice. But he held on so tightly to that last inkling that was left behind on the surface. I heard him open the gate of the cage, I heard him say something to the maids that left my side and then he stepped inside and walked towards me. Out of all of them, he was the one I feared the least. But I assure you, he was a frightening sight to behold.

His eyes were filled with craze, passion and a hint of love. This man, the man I thought I would be able to love, turned into something akin to a monster. His love was almost like poison, though it did leave a sweet aftertaste. Because of that sweetness, I could not hate him. He bowed down, just like he always would, he reached out to my legs and wanted to kiss them, but I shook my head – I needed to let him know that they were broken. “J-Jumin.” I tried to say his name, but it pained me to speak. I wonder why, when – as I spoke with my prince it never hurt.

“Fear not my sweet canary, I already know, what has happened to your lovely legs. Ah, you remind me of all the beautiful birds my father used to own, behind beautiful and intricate cages, their wings clipped – so that they would not fly away, they used to sing in the beginning; they sang such lovely tunes. But after a while, they all died of loneliness. For no matter how beautiful a creature is, the most lovely it can only be, once it is set free.” As he finished, he gently put one of my legs on top of his knee; while he was on the floor crouching down. With his hands he gently went over them and then as I expected it the least, he took hold of my leg and grabbed it with such sheer force I had to squeal out.

“Though my rationality tells me to free you, to let you go. To see how beautiful you can be once you love me truly – I cannot. I am far too afraid, I am so terrified that you will leave me behind. I don’t want to lose the only thing I care to live for. You understand don’t you? You are safe here, well mostly safe. I I will make sure, Zen and Yoosung will be punished for breaking your legs, I promise that it will not happen again, I will protect you. Please, please, promise me, that you won’t leave me.”  
Then he laid his head on my lap and cried, he often would just be there talk to me, beg me to stay and cry. As he did, I would stroke his hair and sing to him.  
It hurt so deeply, how he controlled me, how much his weakness had an effect on me. How I tried not to fall into the darkness with him. But when you see – the one you loved fall so quickly, you try to grasp their hand, you try to save them. And though I wish to be free, I also wish this for this broken prince.   
Maybe when I am finally free and saved, I will save all of them from themselves. 

As the broken prince slept on my lap, I couldn’t help but think of my shining prince. The one that tried to be a knight, the one that was so utterly beautiful that my heart just wanted to be with him.

All of them told me countless times to save them, to be there for them, to show them the light that is within me. So as I could not save all of them, their chants of “save me” turned to “hate me”.

I made countless promises of never letting them go, of staying and not complaining. I promised HIM, that I would endure. The wizard assured me, that I didn’t need to make any promises to HIM, that if it were to become too much, that he would send help that he would free me. But as I became human and as all the emotions, which were sleeping in me awoke – they just were too much to handle and I couldn’t help but try to save them all, I couldn’t help but be kind to all of them. So no wonder I made promises that were painful to keep.

Ah, it is as though I can hear HIS words again.

“You need to stay here for them. Promise me, you will never let us go. You can hate me for all they do. If they break you, you can hate on me but promise me you won’t let us go.”

That annoying carrot top, but he appeared in so much pain, all I could do was nod.  
I only hope my prince is safe and sound. Maybe soon, we will be together? Maybe soon, we will both fly together under the blue sky?  
Sadly, I didn’t know, that my lovely prince was in danger, for the person that stopped him turned out to be his greatest enemy. Someone who used to be his other half. Someone who promised him the blue sky, but all my prince received was pain, torture and tears. This someone was the same person, which kept me inside this golden cage.

No other than his brother, the Gatekeeper 707.


	3. How can you save me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> AU where all of the RFA are completely obsessed with MC the princess of the story, they become so very obsessed with her that they keep her in a golden cage. The RFA is the bad guy and the MC is tormented by each and every one in the RFA. Until her prince comes and saves her. Or at least tries to. The Choi twins meat each other - how does the story develop? Will Saeyoung help the young prince and princess?

So there I was staring at the very person, that resembled me visually. If of course I wouldn’t have dyed my hair and if my eyes weren’t a different shade – we would look more like brothers. No, not just brothers but…so much more. Like we used to, he used to be my most important person in this whole world, until… he betrayed me. 

But no matter how hard I tried to change my appearance, no one could deny the resemblance we shared. The very resemblance I detested with my whole core. His expression held no emotions, if it weren’t for his clenched jaw I could have thought that he wasn’t capable of showing any emotions. We stared at each other for a while the only thing that could be heard, was the rustling of the grass and the sound of the woodland creatures. As we were both staring at each other in silence I chose to take this time to look him over.

He wore ridiculous clothes, a sweater that was too big for him and pants that seemed to have food stains and were torn in different parts. His eyes held no emotions, but judging by his under eye circles it was evident, that he didn’t sleep enough. 

 

No one wanted to speak up, the tension was high. Was he here in order to destroy me, to ruin my plans of saving the only thing I ever cared about? The princess was the only true thing I wanted to protect and cherish. And no one, not even my so called brother is going to take her from me. I had enough of this silence and us staring at each other so I took a step towards him and spoke up “Step aside. I don’t have time for this nonsense.”

 

He only shrugged and scratched his neck “You very well know that I cannot do that, sweet brother. You have trespassed this property and the other one inside.” His voice was provocative and he wore a lewd smirk on his face.

He dared to describe her as property? She was a human being! I could feel the heat in me rising, it was bubbling up, I could feel that soon something in me would snap, I feared what could become of me. But soon enough, the anger in me took over and I stepped towards him and grabbed at his collar and shook him. “How dare you! How dare you say she is property, you of all people should know how it feels to be captive and…” my voice was starting to break as I recalled how this excuse of a brother left me behind with the woman we called our mother, the very woman who would beat me, torture me for his own pleasure only because I was weaker than HIM! I could feel something inside of me break free and I screamed at the top of my lungs and pushed this piece of shit on the ground and started to hit on him. 

 

“LIAR” 

 

another hit 

 

“LIAR” 

 

a blow to the head 

 

“I HATE YOU” 

 

and as I wanted to hit him again he grabbed my arms and steadied them. Who was I kidding, he had always been much stronger than me.

 

“I am giving you the chance to flee, go and don’t come back. If you don’t want to dirty your hands you should leave all of this behind. You can’t save her, she will stay here and be their toy, let her be. It’s far too late.”

 

His face was red with anger, his eyes showed signs of fear? But maybe he is afraid of their leader, naturally he doesn’t care for what happens with me or her. I, must do this, I must save her, for if she is saved – that way maybe even my soul can be salvaged.

 

I shook my head and I felt tears streaming down my face. “I will not give up on her, I will not live on and constantly recall the life she is living. Are you even aware of all the things they do to her? No matter what they do to her, she remains there, she has almost given up on her life, she is miserable, but the only thing that keeps her going is her kindness, is the love she feels for them. No matter who made her come here, she is not alright, she deserves more. Have you ever seen her, were you ever with her? Go and talk to her, if after you have visited her, you can still call her property and if you still believe she doesn’t deserve freedom, then we can perhaps talk about it.”

 

After telling him my thoughts, he finally broke the silence with a sigh, he pushed me so that we both could stand up.

 

“Alright. I will go see her, if and only if she is able to stir something in me…which I doubt she will, I will consider letting you trespass. But I will not help you free her. Understood?”  
What is this feeling? Disbelief? “But why? Why would you agree on this?”

 

Then he stepped closer to me and put his hand on my shoulder “Let’s say it’s to make amends for the past.”

 

I shrugged his hand off and ran towards my hideout. I would stay here; I would think of her. The princess, that listened and lifted the darkness from my heart. Hopefully I would be able to rescue her, to free her. I only wish her happiness and maybe she and I will meet in our dreams tonight. I can only beg the gods, the wizards and anything that can help me, to give me strength and guide me to her arms.

 

But would he keep his promise?

 

…………………………………………………………..

The gatekeeper stood alone in the woods, looking back at where his brother stood just a few minutes ago, was now empty space. He had failed him in the past, he knew that it was too late to apologize, to change the past, but maybe with this small favour he would maybe help him? A long sigh escaped his mouth, he knew that what the organisation did with that poor girl was wrong and unforgivable, but he couldn’t do anything could he? He was only a puppet master, or was he the puppet? The only thing he had to do, was protect the secrets, protect her – make a schedule, when someone could visit her. It was all just for her. The only two people who haven’t visited her was V – the leader and himself – the gatekeeper. She never saw him and neither did he. 

She only heard his voice over the speaker or the phone. He did see her through the camera, but he was afraid to get closer, to clearly see how she looked. If he was looking at the situation from a safe distance – then he didn’t feel anything for her. It all seemed like a weird TV show, it was all so surreal. After a while he just didn’t care anymore, or did he? He just shut it all off, he didn’t want to know who and how she was, that way he would start to care and he didn’t deserve to care. But maybe it was time to introduce himself, so that she knows who exactly the one person is, who is not letting her escape from her hell. This would probably hurt them both, she would see eye to eye to the monster that is keeping her locked and he would see what damage his loyalty to the leader has done.

 

He checked his phone – it was a message from Jumin – he would return to his estate now and leave her behind. It seems they would meet sooner than he thought. He walked towards the mansion – he could easily go in and out, since he was the one who build the security, so with ease and confidence he walked towards her “room” well more or less it was a cage, but whatever. He turned off the cameras, s that they at least had some privacy. He thought of the reasons why all of the members and his brother were just so obsessed with a simple girl. He unlocked and swiftly locked the doors back as he stepped inside. 

There was a sweet scent in the air, and he heard some lovely humming. He slowly walked towards the source of the humming and there he saw – an ethereal creature, she was gazing through the window and silently singing a sad tune to herself, she was clothed in a white, sheer dress, her hair was freely cascading down her body like a blanket. Her skin shone lightly, because of the moonlight. Like in trance he walked towards her and without noticing he stumbled and hit a small table along the way towards her – making a small vase fall down and shatter.

 

Then the ethereal beauty looked at him with wide eyes and he finally saw her face up close, her plump lips were a beautiful pink, her cheeks were slightly flushed and her eyes shone like stars. He had never seen anyone as beautiful as her.

 

She turned her whole body towards him – with slight discomfort, since her legs were still wrapped in bandages. With a slight head tilt, she signalized him that she was confused as to who he was and what he was doing there. 

 

Then she put her hands on her lap and spoke up silently with her sweet voice; “How may I help you?”

 

Without knowing what he was doing he was stepping towards her and as there was hardly anywhere to step anymore he knelt before her and looked up at her, he felt that she would feel safer that way, if he was eye to eye with her. Then he could see that she shook in fear and as she bit her lip in discomfort this made him feel a slight pang to his chest. “What have I done?” 

 

By breathing in, he tried to calm himself and he decided it was for the best if he would just … introduce himself? He didn’t really know why he was so nervous and how one person could have such an impact on anyone, even on someone like him-

 

“Hello, we haven’t met yet, my name is Saeyoung. I am a part of the rfa and I thought that it might have been time to meet face to face?”

 

He stared at her and she did something that he wasn’t expecting she clicked her tongue at him and stared in annoyance at him. She then tapped on the sofa and the empty space next to her. “Sit please.”

 

He complied to her wishes and sat near her, as he was close to her, he saw her bruised skin. Tough her skin seemed so inviting and soft, it was marked with many bruises, even if her hair was covering her like a blanket, those purple marks stood out quite strongly. So he couldn’t help but look at her with pity.

 

Then he saw the look she gave him, it was full of life, full of anger and hate. Were those emotions meant for him? To confirm his suspicion, she spoke up.  
“No need to feel sorry for me, after all, it is you who is guilty for this situation. I know who you are, we didn’t meet but your voice haunts me, each and every time one of them visits. Your voice…I hate it. It makes me stay here, it makes me live out a life, I never wanted for myself. I might have been on a brink of death as a star, but this is not life…THIS is not living!” 

 

Well, this was not the obedient and silent doll he was expecting. This was living, wasn’t it? She was fighting even now, when she has hardly any strength left.

 

He leaned closer to her, which made her lean back, to stop her from moving away he grabbed her by the back of her hand. It excited him how she fought like a broken bird, before when she was a lifeless doll to the others, he couldn’t care less for her, but now? She was fighting so strongly, her whole body yelled out to live, her cheeks were flushed red by the anger she felt inside. With a smirk on his face he approached her and whispered in a husky tone with mocking undertones; “I am not giving you away so easily. V would never let me. Princess, you will not leave so easily. Do you understand?”

With a swift motion she slapped his hand away. She was fuming with rage. Seeing the face of the man, who kept her behind these bars awoke something in her that was resting quietly in her for a long while. Now she felt all the strength return to her. There was someone she would fight for, someone she wanted to live for and be free and no one would stand in her way. With confidence, which she thought was long gone, then she sat upwards as poised as she could and glared at the red haired man and with declared as powerfully as she could;   
“I will not leave, nor will walk away, for my sweet prince - the one person who gives me strength will carry me away from here.”

 

The gatekeeper pulled back and started to laugh manically – he threw his head backwards and cackled crazily.

As he calmed down he looked at her and smirked; “This is going to be an interesting game, if you truly believe you can escape by all means try – but I assure you – V will always find you.” 

He then stood up and walked away, with one last look at her he bid her his farewells “Princess, you are so much more than I ever expected, if God was an honorable man – if all my sins could ever be forgiven, I think I could have easily fallen for you and maybe I could have been the one to rescue you.”

 

Then she did something that he wasn’t expecting, she smiled at him and as sweetly as she could spoke; “You can’t save yourself, how could you ever save me? I bid you farewell, Saeyoung.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally it is here~ pt 3! I really hope you like this part, I am actually liking it so far. Also I hope you don’t mind too much that Saeyoung is “bad” in my AU/fanfiction. But don’t worry, he still has his tsundere moments and he is not all bad~. Hope you like it! ♡(.◜ω◝.)♡


	4. Leader

Save me, save me from everything that is holding me back from soaring high above the vast blue skies with you. Unleash these cold, iron chains that are keeping me from you; unleash me from this pain and let me feel your warm embrace, let me feel your hands around my waist. I want to breathe you in, I want to recall your smell, but it has been so long I am afraid that I am about to forget. Though I am constantly wishing for a miracle to just let me go, to let us be one, to finally be together. I constantly fear that I might lose myself inside this cage and in time even lose all of the special memories we made together and in time lose all memories of you. If it wasn’t for the random visits from the gatekeeper, I would by now, probably be guessing if I might have made you up. 

 

There were no signs of you ever being here, ever stepping through those gates, setting foot in my heart like you did on that day. But the pain, I feel of not having you near is clearly a sign that you ought to be. That you must exist somewhere out there and not just in my heart. 

The gatekeepers visiting kept me sane and he has been trying to ease the pain by being somewhat kind to me. He hasn’t let Zen enter through the gates no matter how much he screams at times or if he cries out for me. I have felt bad for him, I did somehow feel his pain and I did wish to ease the pain, but the gatekeeper made me promise not to let him enter. Zen was…not well enough to be left alone with me, so they decided to let him be off of the drug he craved so much – the drug being me. On the other hand, Yoosung was allowed to visit. I was completely flabbergasted at that – for it was him who has hurt me much more often than Zen ever did and it was Yoosung who broke me so often. But alas, I had no saying in the matter, they thought Yoosung was too nice, too sweet to hurt me too badly. And I must confess that he was actually very kind to me. It was strange how he at times could be very kind and would spoil me rotten with his kindness and his presents but at times his darker side would come up and he would try to corrupt me. His sweet side loved to dress me in pretty dresses, play games with me and cook me food. He loved to make me sweets and he would usually see me as a sweet, cute girl. Although he seemed so loving, so gentle and just so sugary sweet, there was darkness inside of him. A kind of darkness that could only be found in people who lost a lot in their lives. Yoosung did seem like someone who has lost something very special to him – a former lover or someone else? I didn’t know, since he never spoke about it as openly as one would think, he kept most of his pain deep inside of him – all of which made him become more vicious. 

As he was in his darker modes all he wanted, was to sink low and he would take me with him if I allowed it. At times his darker self would turn out to be very sweet, but his sweetness was hidden behind pity. Like today when he came to visit me, his eyes were full of pity. His behaviour was akin to that of a disobedient child. He would slap me and call me a whore but in just a split second he would kiss the wounds he left behind and stare at me with pity. It was a game that I never could win and it would always make me feel strange. For at times I liked his companionship and I even thought at times that he was a kind and gentle boy, but he would often inflict pain that not one of them would ever do. He was just a strange boy that tried very hard to be a man.

He left soon enough, after he kissed me all over, after he played his perverted games. He might seem innocent but between the sheets was the one place where he was able to let himself go and let his desires run wild. He could be as free as he desired. Most of the times he would envelop his whole body around me – he seemed almost like a snake, holding me tightly to his body. His hands would slide everywhere they could, he was gentle and teasing. Every time he touched a new spot that made me go wild he would tease some more. 

He loved to nib at my skin. He was like a small animal. Nibbling, kissing and licking that was all he would do. But most of all he loved to pound me, my legs over his shoulders and he would kiss them in between the pounding. But his gaze was unbelievable, filled with so much love and care – only at those times I truly knew that he loved me. Somewhere deep inside of him, hidden behind all the insanity he did actually love and care for me, but after so many times of being hunted down, hurt and loved at the same time – I was afraid that I would stoop to his level and become insane. 

After he finished, he would – almost demand – that I was bathed by him and afterwards he would comb my long hair. In a way he loved me, praised me but also despised the idea of having to share me. It made him go mad and in that way it was easy for him to hurt me. After he hurt me he would go crazier – it was a never ending spiral. Yoosung was far gone and it was in a way his own fault and the fault of the leader. For the leader thought it was good for the members to let out their deepest, darkest selves out on someone who could be hidden from society and how great is it, that all of them including him felt so strongly for me? Afterwards he dressed me in a way the next visitor would want – this time a baggy shirt that was as big as a dress, thigh highs and no underwear. Either it was Jumin or the gatekeeper, Jaehee visited me yesterday so it wasn’t possible for her to visit that often – she liked to visit once a week. She told me that she felt dirty if she visited more often, she did need me but her craving and lusting for me was almost as sweet as having me. 

I waited patiently on my little sofa and decided to sing, it soon was a song of great anguish and sadness. My dearest, if you only knew that all the songs I sing, all the tears I shed are for you and only for you. I beg of you to come and take me far, far away from here. I gaze towards the gate where I know that you are waiting, waiting to come and save me. You are there watching over me, smiling patiently to come to my rescue. I could only hope for you to come and be with me. My voice was now hoarse for I started to shed some tears and they ever so rudely interrupted my train of thought. Also someone else interrupted my singing with their clapping. 

“I do love your singing, little canary.” Spoke the gatekeeper ever so sweetly. 

Though he used to be quite abrupt with me at the beginning and he seemed to hate me, he changed, ever so slightly. The words directed at me were much kinder, sweeter and soft spoken. His touches surprised me, but they were there and gentle. He took care of any wounds the visitors might have left behind and he would just talk and listen. He was a companion I longed for so long. But I never could fully trust his kindness it was just something that I couldn’t get used to, no matter how much time has passed and how many encounters we might have had. I never could believe him. He did try though. I might know though, why I never could believe him, the reason; were his eyes- they always seemed to be shrouded in mystery. 

To be a man able to hide so many secrets and with such ease was something that deeply frightened me. It was hard to put into words what actually frightened me, maybe it was the unknown, maybe it was the fact that he was so alike to Saeran, the one I wanted to be close with, maybe it was simply the fact that he was the one who held me behind these bars. It was him who didn’t free me, but let the canary sing behind golden bars. 

The gatekeeper sat next to me and looked at my body. “Are there any new wounds? Either you speak honestly about them or I will have to do a thorough check up on you”   
I winced at that, for his examinations aren’t pleasant, he never did anything that would make me go through pain, but he would often get annoyed by the amount of wounds or marks some of them would left behind. The whole ordeal of having me here and sharing me with each other might seem incredibly strange. I might have been locked up for a long time and I might have only lived as a star – but even I know that this whole situation is indeed strange. 

But it was the price I had to pay to even be alive. I was living a life that was painful and I might seem like a tortured princess, but the truth was a little different. I loved those times when Jumin would let me walk outside the villa with him. I loved being able to breathe in the fresh air, I loved to sing and I loved to learn new things and somewhere in my heart I did cherish these broken people. I must love them, since I let them make love to me. 

How did it feel, all of these things happening it goes something like this; hate me, break me, kiss my wounds, love me, push me away, hold me close, crush me, let me feel as good as new; but let someone save me sometime soon before I break apart. So before the gatekeeper could rip the shirt from my body, I stood up and pulled it off me. By now the only light that shone inside were the moon and stars, so I wasn’t as embarrassed as I used to be in daylight. He turned my body all around and noticed the hickeys on my legs and neck. 

“Yoosung is always very thorough with you isn’t he?” Said the gatekeeper in a joking manner at which I only shrugged. “How can you still joke about it, when you always get so mad at them, especially at Zen and Yoosung? How can you say that you like me when you let me go through all of it every day?”

He sighed at that and pulled the shirt over my head. “You know that I can’t save you, it’s not my place to do something of that sorts, he has to save you or the leader has to set you free and you chances of getting either of those two are slim. He hasn’t been here in what 4 months?” 

“3 months.” I corrected him in a small voice. 

“Well 3-4 months makes no difference he left you behind is all I know. And I am trying to protect you, if I was a prince I would save you and keep you for myself. But by now, don’t you think they have become much nicer to you? It seems that the leader talked some sense into them.” 

Though I was angry at the part of Saeran abandoning me, I had to nod at all of them being nicer to me, but it didn’t change the fact that they were far away from differentiating from real love to obsession. After some thinking I realised something, after being here for so long I never, even once have seen the leader. I always imagined him as an old, fat man who had a weird fetish but he never visited me, so I spoke up. 

“How come the leader has never visited me? You all speak of him so highly yet he never even once was here. Why?”

The gatekeeper only smirked at that, he stood up and stretched his arms out. “Well sweet puppet, do you think it was me who demanded you being dressed like that? You know Jumin’s taste and I would rather have you naked before me than that. But you do have some strange sixth sense don’t you? You see, the leader made an agreement with all of them. He too would visit you and if they would even try to harm you as they used to, he would destroy them all.”

I only sat there shocked, that - this situation wasn’t what I wanted, I hardly got used to all of them visiting now there was another person who would come and see me?

“If the leader wants it, he might be the only one in the end who can have you. So you should behave, sweet canary.” At that he leaned to my face and kissed my forehead. “Be a good girl, ok?” And so he disappeared. I waited in the dark, so I decided to light some candles.

I walked to some of them surrounding my couch and lighted each one, while singing softly. Then I felt a small tap on my shoulder. 

So I turned around to see a tall handsome man, far taller than me and slightly taller than Jumin. He had teal coloured hair and beautiful eyes and he wore a beautiful, enchanting smile, which made me blush ever so slightly. 

“H-how may I help you?” I finally spoke up.

“Ah, what a beauty no wonder they want you so badly.” He spoke and by then he went on one knee while taking hold of one of my hand and kissing it softly.

“Greetings lovely princess I am the leader or as most people like to call me V. But you may call me as you wish, my goddess.” Speechless I only managed to nod in understanding. How can someone as charming as him be the leader of such an organisation filled with people like them? He took my hand and leaded me to the couch. 

“Let us sit and talk for a while, what do you say? My turn isn’t limited to any sort of time, so we can spend time freely with each other.” I sat down as wished and stared at him, I didn’t know what to ask of him so I only stared which followed to him blushing deep red. 

“P-please don’t stare so openly at me, you may not be aware of your beauty but you have a strong influence with your appearance.” My head tilted to the side and I questioned him. “What do you mean?” 

His hand found its way to mine and he grasped it gently. 

“At first I made a deal with the wizard, I wanted a woman as beautiful and enticing as the universe, I wanted a woman that was pure as freshly fallen snow, I wished for someone who could change and help me and my friends, to help me where I couldn’t. So then I found you, or you found me. You were barely “born” as a human so you may not recall, but the first thing you did - was to run into my arms. You see, dearest princess it was you , who chose me.”

I chose V?


	5. Prickly starts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mc finally gets to know V and finds out why exactly he wanted her. Or at least he opens up slightly.

They sat on the couch, his hand gently holding hers, he wore a beautiful gentle smile on his face and studied her expression.

 

He could hear her erratic breathing and how she tried to calm herself, she did not understand what he meant when he claimed that it was her who choose him. So without thinking it through, she looked at him with a determined look, squeezed his hand and with as much strength as she could muster, she spoke up in a confident and slightly loud manner:

 

“What do you mean with I choose you?” She could feel the glint forming in her eyes, she knew…or at least thought, that she must have looked quite intimidating to him.

 

At first he squeezed her hand back and then he looked down she couldn’t really see his reaction, then his shoulders started to tremble and she was starting to worry that he might feel ill or that she might have frightened him so much that he started to shake. But what surprised her next was, that he started to laugh. He released his hand from her and started to laugh so heartily, he then held his stomach and she saw tears forming in his eyes. After he was finally finished laughing he coughed slightly and smiled at her. He wore a mischievous smirk on his face and if she had to admit, she would have to say that she was entranced by him. 

 

“My dear, you must understand that to us normal mortals you look like a goddess, your appearance is so lovely that words of such beauty were probably only ever described in great books and after seeing you trying so hard to look menacing and I am sad to inform you, you did not achieve your goal of scaring me – you were actually quiet adorable. ”

As he finished he carefully stretched his hand to her cheek and caressed it slowly, he admired her beautiful face. He finally felt her beneath his touch, her gorgeous eyes that shone like the stars, her plump lips that were slightly opened and those flushed red cheeks. He was entranced by her beauty but what truly got him, was the innocence and the child like naivete that was oozing from her, but he knew better, he saw a strong spirit deep in her, a strong wish to live to prosper, to finally let her wings spread. He inched close to her and swept her hair on one side over her other shoulder so that he could admire her lovely bare neck. With her neck exposed like that she tried desperately to hide all the marks with her small hands and she seemed to wear an expression of urgency and shame. Gently he took hold of her hands and kissed the top of her hands and gave her a small smile, soon she relaxed them and let him proceed.

 

A tingling sensation went through her body ash she felt his lips on her hand, she didn’t know what it was, but it was as if her body was yearning for his touches, as if it knew him. She soon felt heat spread all through her body and then she felt her cheeks flush. Embarrassed she avoided eye contact and looked at her lap, she found everything else to be far more interesting at that moment.

 

A small chuckle was heard and as she was admiring her lap, she saw him shift his position on the couch and soon she felt his finger under her chin, with care he made her look up.

 

“Don’t fear me.” He huskily said.

He came even closer, so close that he gently pushed her down and suddenly … she found herself below him. He was looming above her and for the first time since she was captive and in such a position she felt safe, maybe it was his eyes that gave her the feeling that she could … no SHOULD trust this man. A smirk appeared on his face and she felt like he could read her mind since he came closer to her and she was sure he was going to kiss her, but he went towards her ear and whispered;

“I won’t hurt you.”

 

He said in such a way that she felt and knew, that he must have been smirking as he said it.

 

She felt something rising in her and maybe it was his voice, maybe the gaze with which he admire her, but she had to with the utmost strength she had hold back a moan. 

 

But she was stronger than this, she would not let this man, no matter how handsome and charming he may be make her fall for him and only through controlling her urges. No, he would not. So she looked at him and glared at him, but she could keep that glare only for a few moments, since he came closer to her face and was now nose to nose to her face. His smile and that glint in his eyes, reminded her of the Cheshire cat. She could smell him and he smelled fresh and calming. Then without a warning he gave her nose a small peck and sat back like nothing ever happened.

Flabbergasted she sat back up and stared at him.

“Cat got your tongue?” He asked in a playful way.  
She didn’t know why, but she felt alive… there in that moment she felt normal? She lightly pushed his shoulder and giggled.

 

“Has anyone ever told you that you’re a real weirdo?” 

 

Slightly tilting her head it was her turn to admire him now and though he pretended to be confident, she was weak to her beauty and her smiles. But before it could affect him in any way she asked him;

“I don’t recall ever meeting or seeing you? I may be young in this body and it may have not been long since I have stood on this ground and since I breathed the same air that you breathe. But I would have remembered your face since it is a face one could never forget.”

 

She didn’t let him answer she just stood up and walked towards the door that led to the gardens, as she was just about to go out she turned to him.

 

“Let us go in the gardens, since its a lovely night, my sisters shine brightly and mother moon is beautiful as always.” He complied to her wishes and followed her, but not before he took a blanket on which they could sit on. So they sat down and both admire the stars.The silence was soothing to them both he felt her hand on his and smiled to no one but himself. 

 

“When I was younger, no one was there to love me, many things happened and I believed it was best to try and capture the beauty of the world before it fades and dies. I longed for a family and with the rfa I finally had one and when you have a family it is your duty as the leader to protect it. Even if it means sacrificing something for the greater good. After a while I saw all the problems my family was facing, all of the things they could not handle on their own. I wished and wished and wished, for someone that would be next to me and help them, help me face the world and make them clean.”

 

He turned to her; her the one he wished for … for such a long time. She was radiant, no matter what they did to her, she did not break, she accepted them with such love it could be maddening. The members were probably testing her, how much pressure could they put onto her until she would break and leave them? But he believed that under pressure she would turn into a radiant diamond. But he … as he stared into her eyes, he had doubts about it all. He was fighting strong against the lust and craving that was building inside of him. He was afraid of the man he would become if he would let it take them over him and just take her, here and now. Would she still look at him with those big innocent eyes, would she still try and understand him? Would she still so desperately try to save them all?

 

Then the words of the wizard echoed in his mind; “Very well, for entertainment purposes, I will give you the brightest star of them all, but once she is human, she will be hard to resist for her beauty will be out of this world, her smell will intoxicate you. It is her curse that she must carry with her – that is the downside of her becoming human. Once you let your dark urges take over you, it will be hard to go back to what you were before, she is like a drug. Under such circumstances it will be hard for anyone to truly ever love her.”

 

He cursed himself for agreeing to this deal, but he wanted someone like her all along. He knew he would have to fight hard with himself not to mindlessly have her, but .. try to heal her. Try to fix what his family did to her … well what he did. A single tear rolled down his cheek and as he wanted to wipe it off, he was enveloped in a sudden tight hug, which made him lay down. It was her, the silly girl probably thought he cried for his rfa members, when it was for her he cried for. 

With her tiny, trembling voice she spoke up;

 

“I will try my hardest to help you, to help them. I will do what I can in this body, I may not be strong, but I … I will carry this burden with you all!”  
He wanted to believe in this little wonder, but he knew that he could not save them all without some help, he knew it was time to stop pretending that everything was alright. He wrapped his arm around her small frame and breathed her in.

 

“You don’t need to do anything, just … stay with me, for now at least. I did choose you and you choose me. You ran head first onto my chest that day, you probably don’t remember since it was your first proper day on earth. Then you fell down and laughed, you were so excited to walk you started to run, then you looked up at me and the first thing you said to me, do you recall what it was?”

 

All of a sudden, it was as though a strong force pushed all the images into her brain and she saw it all, all the first experiences she had- talking, eating, playing in the park, laughing with the wizard and then meeting him, when suddenly the wizard disappeared. As she was on the ground bare feet in her simple summer dress, with her hair all over the place and she looked up at the man she hit, she said to him while wearing a big smile on her face….

 

Those words were.

 

“Carry me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> FINALLY I AM UPDATING THIS. I am so sorry to everyone who has been waiting for it...I hope there is still some of you around to read it ;_;...ha...ha... Well I hope you like this new chapter! AND! As you might feel from the development of the story the pairing...miiiight changeee? he..he..might~~ Hope you like it! Have a lovely day! ʚ♡⃛ɞ(ू•ᴗ•ू❁)


	6. Carry me pt. 6

Usually, I didn’t need to sleep. But I liked the feel of this human body while it was resting. It was light, soft and not in pain. When I was awake all I felt was sorrow and this emptiness in my whole body. As if I was emotionally numb – unfortunately that wasn’t so. I felt everything with such ferocity it hurt all over. As the members of the rfa came to me – seeking advice, comfort, I felt their pain, I felt is as though it was my own. Maybe that was the reason why I fell for them because I felt them so deeply. But as my prince came, all I felt was joy, lightness, it was as if his feeling didn’t impact me negatively, they freed me. I could feel my own feelings and not those of others. It was exciting and wonderful. My dear rfa members never saw me in pain, they never saw what was really going on inside of me, I knew how it hurt feeling someone else’s pain so I tried to be a doll, not feeling pain, trying hard not to let my emotions show. So for the most time I swallowed all of the emotions that I felt, all the pain, all the sorrow I just let it rest in my stomach and let it accumulate over time, it was somewhere down there growing with each passing day, taking space in my body and nagging me in the back of my mind.

Days were starting to grow dull. The only thing me and my body did was lay anywhere on the estate or in my room. If it was on the small sofa, the floor, the bed all I did was lay there and do nothing. V never came after his visit – the gatekeeper explained that V had a lot of work and that he ordered that none of the members are allowed to visit me at any certain time, no matter what they or I say.

I was starting to get annoyed, wasn’t he supposed to be with me? With each passing day all alone I grew tired of this boredom, my body grew weaker and my mind was dull. But as bored as I was, I had my peace and quiet and in a way, it was soothing to let my wounds heal.

Sooner than later I grew accustomed to being alone. I didn’t mind the empty rooms, I didn’t mind being silent and not speaking and just being with myself and all stars are used to being lonely. We don’t fear to be alone, we don’t mind the silence in a sense we are comfortable with our situation. But being a human was entirely different, being alone with your thoughts wasn’t necessarily always wonderful, you start to doubt yourself, your each and every thought, it is like a game your mind and the demons in you play you never know if these thoughts are true or not. By not having anyone around me, I only had my mind to rely on and those whispers.

»You will never be loved.«

»They never loved you.«

»You are just a doll.«

»Useless.«

»USELESS!«

It was always weird hearing these thoughts. I never thought of these things, but making ties with all these people, trying so hard to love and be loved made me unsure of myself. Especially since V tried to toy with my emotions. I didn’t truly understand why he tried to make me love him, why he so badly wanted me to be his and only his. The truth is, I was close to forgetting my prince. If V lingered longer here – his sweet words would wrap around my heart like an armor not letting anyone close to it. My baby heart, barely able to live and exist wasn’t prepared for all this. No wonder it’s always aching and yearning to be mended with true love. Good thing was that I somewhat understood the difference between love and obsession. My dear rfa developed an obsession with their love. They only saw what they wanted to see, not who I truly was and what I could be. Then…what about V? As I remembered his face, I felt a twist in my stomach. Well, I rolled over so that I laid on my back and stared at the white decorated ceiling, he was quite handsome, one had to give him credit for that. He was sickeningly sweet with his words and charm. But his weird fixation on me is not love. He couldn’t love me, could he? If he did, he probably wouldn’t let the rfa treat me that way, was it his plan to make me succumb, be passive, submissive? Haaa… what do I know? I’m just a star who got a chance at life and why did no one ever tell me how complicated life is? Trying to live, be loved, striving to find joy, wanting to give but being scared to be scarred.

How long has it been since I saw his face? I sat up, my long hair covering most of my body. This is also something that drives me mad, this stupid hair, growing so fast it covers me, is everywhere…but always when I see myself in a reflection I tend to admire its sheen and length. Being a human girl is weird.

I stared through the glass cage towards the garden, it was the end of summer when I saw him, he was beautiful. Maybe he was only a summer bird, trying to free another bird, but he failed and flew south.

The garden was so lush and green, full of blooming flowers and buzzing insects. Now it was filled with snow, the scenery is breathtaking but so lonely. My hair grew longer; would you like it this way? As I asked myself that question I pulled on it, It was quite long now.

Would you still look at me with the same love and devotion as you did in those days? Your gaze was always filled with love and worry. I don’t know what it was that drew me to you, I instantly cared for you. Do…you still love me?

Honestly, I didn’t care if you did…because all I cared for; was you being alive and safe and sound.

I lay back on the floor on the soft white carpet all the while I wore a simple short dress – even if it was winter the heating was always on high thanks to the gatekeeper. He did take care of me in a sense, he was the one making sure I was fed, healthy and alive. Sometimes he would visit but only for a short amount of time – he always feared that he wouldn’t be able to hold back from wanting me.

Hold back from this curse I carry? I realized after being with V that my whole existence was a curse, I was to always be loved, but being with the one I love was impossible. Such an existence is only a curse. I didn’t want everyone to be crazy about me, what kind of true feelings are those? Blind love, blind loyalty turning them into monsters who can’t contain their emotions and want to devour me and intoxicate me with their affection. Maybe V couldn’t handle being with me for too long? Maybe even my prince couldn’t handle all of this, this mess of a half human that I am. Maybe I shouldn’t even be here. Maybe I should call upon the magician and wish for him to take me.

Maybe it was far too late – I was already too human?

The snow falling outside reminds me of him- of my sweet magician. I close my eyes in an effort to remember his face, he was a really attractive man, wasn’t he? If he can see what I’m doing right now would he worry? As I start to see his face and his smirk, my heart clenches, ah … I miss him. Don’t I? He was after all the first person I met. He was the one giving me this life, as cursed as it may be it is a life. Not everyone gets a shot at it.

Trying not to think of him and this situation too hard I slowly rise up from and put myself in a sitting position. The snow falls so gently, the snowflakes remind me of my brothers and sisters, so gentle, so bright – our lives seem so long yet we all pass in a blink of an eye. I miss those tender moments when we would try to outshine the other but would come to the realization that we could only shine brightly together.

Where are you? Why won’t you come and rescue me? Am I doomed to die here, without ever feeling your touch?

As I asked myself that, the whole estate was covered in darkness, a power outage?

I didn’t hear the gatekeeper, usually, he would try to inform me to stay still and not move, but all there was – wait.. steps…one person.

»Who..« As soon as I tried to ask the intruder crouched to me and put his hand on my mouth and whispered:

»Shh princess, it’s time to break free.«

It’s … this voice? I recognize this voice, my whole body shivered, I gasped for air and felt how tears started to flow. Soft touches on my skin, his fingers were touching me delicately and soon I felt his lips on my shoulder and on my neck, he came to my ear and whispered.

»Are you so excited to feel me that you’re speechless?« I could feel him smile while asking me that, I only uttered a small yes at that. He did leave me speechless and wanting him more. I wanted to see his face, I wanted to feel him, I searched through the darkness with my hands trying to feel him. I felt him take hold of one of my hand and he pulled me to my feet and quickly picked me up.

»There’s no time for that now my love, we must flee immediately. We can touch as soon as we are safe. So for now, just hold on tight.«

Before I could even response my savior ran towards the exit, he must have done something with the electricity, since no alarms were on and the doors opened manually. Dear gods, magician, please help us. Hopefully, we can make it and finally be free. Through the door towards the garden, he carried me.

»Now princess, you will have to help me, you will need to climb over the gate by yourself.«

Excuse me? Did he ever see my thin legs and arms? It’s not as though I was training all these months for this climbing adventure. Just as I was to protest he grabbed me by the waist and picked me up.

»This is as much as I can help you, my fair maiden, you need to let your wings grow and leap towards freedom. Ok?«

That did sound reasonable enough. I nodded at his remark and as I did he carried me to the gate, where I stretched my hands out as much as I could. I grabbed onto the gate and pulled myself up with ease. Surprised by that I then recalled, that I was no normal, damsel in distress, I was stronger than the average human.

»See my sweet, how agile you are, now without fear jump to the other side and wait for me.«

Something didn’t feel right but, I trusted him, so I smiled back, not knowing if he could see me through the dark or not and spoke up.

»I love you.« and with that, I jumped and landed safely on my feet. On the other side all I saw were trees as far as my eyes could see in the dark I saw trees and then as I looked up … I saw the most beautiful night sky imaginable. It was as if my brothers and sisters were cheering me on, wishing for me to be happy, to succeed to find love. Truly … only now I see how lovely you all shine. My wonderful family.

Then in the next moment he jumped next to me, the night sky shone on his face and I could see my handsome prince, he stared at me with the biggest grin he could muster and as I wanted to embrace him, he with all the force he had hugged me and started to spin me.

»Finally, finally, finally you are free, finally I can feel you and see you. My lovely princess, let me carry you away from here.«

He stopped stretched out his hand, waiting for me to grab it. But first …. I stepped closer looked at him, pointed for him to lean closer to me, the fool thought I was going to kiss him. But with all the sadness, tears and emotions he made me feel I slapped him across his beautiful face,

»YOU. ARE. LATE!« I huffed and stomped my leg. »Do you even realize how long I’ve waited for you, how I’ve lost track of time, how I tried to believe you but it hurt so bad I didn’t know what to do.« I wailed like a child and as he quickly touched his cheek in pain he embraced me and though I wanted to squirm away, his scent calmed me down. He leaned his head on mine, sighing and I heard the pain in his voice as he exclaimed,

»I’m sorry, V was trying very hard to separate us, I have endured a lot myself, but my dear I am here now and nothing will separate us. V will hunt us for a while and the sooner we go, the better are our chances. Let us flee, I beg of you, before its too late.«

A voice warned me to not go, to stay, maybe it was the magician, maybe it was the love I had for the rfa, but I didn’t want to listen to anyone anymore, anyone but myself.

My heart told me to go and I grabbed his hand, he squeezed it tight and leaped forward and we ran as fast as we could. Only laughter was heard through the woods, laughter of two lost souls. A prince and his princess, finding their home in each other’s arms.

We were free, we were here alive and together.

Free at last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally updated. I decided to go with Saeran, since he was meant to be with the princess. There will be probably just one or two more chapters (1 will definitely be smut, so be prepared!)


	7. Farewell

Through the tears that just wouldn’t stop spilling I tried to speak up but it was so hard when my hair was stuck to my wet face. It was hard to breathe because the hurt I was feeling was because of you. We are on the bed, I can’t stop crying and at the same time, I wanna tell you how I feel, how you made me feel, I can’t breathe, I can hear how I’m trying to inhale the air and I feel lost.

 

It’s so hard to look into those eyes that I used to love so much, I still love them but they don’t carry the same amount of love for me that they used to. Your eyes seem bleak and lifeless. My sweet was it really so fast that you forgot how it was to love me. You saved me from that cage didn’t you? Wasn’t it you I waited for, for so long?

 

What has become of us? When did our paths lead astray?  
I muster up the strength to hold onto your wrist and I speak up »Please…« a silent, hoarse request is about to leave my mouth and though I feel completely stupid for trying to do it, I must my heart says, he has to hear my plea.  
»Please, love me.« Like a small child begging for recognition, begging for something, begging to be loved again. But you evade me, even as I pull on your wrist you look away, as I release your hand you look up – those eyes that followed my every move, followed me as you showed me the gardens, as you watched me eat, as I sang for you, these eyes show nothing – no emotion, just … is it hate?

 

I think this is what hate looks like.   
»My prince.« I stutter out.

 

A loud sound comes out of your mouth, it is not a cry for help, nor is it a laugh – it sounds crazy and it frightens me, so I instinctively shake. You roll your head back and laugh maniacally, I don’t understand, what is this?  
I gave up the security of something know for my prince to lose its mind, for him to be controlled by an evil … person? She ruined you, she ruined us.

When did this all happen?   
We were happy.  
It wasn’t just you or me - we were US, together. Pieces that were made to be together. Or so I believed.

 

Then as to wake me from my dreams you shake my shoulders.

 

»DONT YOU UNDERSTAND? YOUR PRINCE, EVERYTHING IS GONE.THE LOVE, THE SMILES. GONE!«

 

Then! As you look into my eyes, a glimmer of someone I used to love.

 

»But I love you« I whisper to him and quickly gaze at his lips, that I used to devour, those lips that left marks everywhere on me that they could. Those sweet lips that spoke nothing but kind words to me, those lips mended all my wounds, those lips made me believe in a better future. In a future where we could be together, a world only for us. Maybe I was foolish to follow you, to believe I could ever be happy. If I only knew why I had to pull everyone into misery and why I had to even live on this world if it meant nothing but heartache. I can be your prince. At times I hear the wizards voice and maybe I am only imagining it, I don’t know anymore.

I feel your forehead on mine, your soft breathe strokes my face … you seem to be in pain.

 

»Prince..?«

 

Tears are rolling down your cheeks and you are trying hard not to make a sound.

 

»Forgive me … I brought you nothing but pain. I cant love you. I am so sorry. I …I can’t control it anymore, I will only hurt you. I can’t love you, all I feel when I look at you is hate, but I don’t want to. I…« 

Then you pushed me away and fled through the door. Some clicks – you locking the door and I was alone again.

 

How long has it been since you visited me, will it once again be weeks when I can see you? Even if you hate me, I rather see you hate me than never to see you again. The fear of being alone is bigger than the fear of dying. 

 

I lay on the bed that is now my home, on my feet are the shackles that bind me to this bed. If it weren’t for the keepers that come and take care of me – probably no one would. I have tried countless times to befriend them but they are always reluctant to talk to me. At times they gaze at me like one would gaze at a fantastical creature. Maybe I was. 

 

He can never love me.

 

He did what they all do.

 

Feed me honey like love and capture in their trap like a beast.

 

This is not the life I longed for.

 

I longed for love.

 

I wanted to be loved.

 

But I am so alone in this world.

 

Maybe …. it would be better … to perish?

 

Maybe that way I can …. end it?

 

Do humans have these thoughts of burning out like a star? Do they crave love like this? Do they hurt and feel like they might grow spectre-thin and someday disappear?

 

No one can save me now, I never was loved. I was always idolized and turned into what I was not.

 

I might have even caused them immense pain.  
I feel how the tears roll down my cheeks onto my ears, I see the ceiling and I wish I would see my brothers and sisters for one last time.  
As I want to wipe my hands I feel something in them … something …a vial in one and a note in the other.

 

Drink this and join me once more. –W

 

Is this the only way? Is this how it all ends? Well, my life even if it was short and filled with many, many troubling situations, I hope that … all the ones that were with me experienced some sort of love.

 

Hopefully my … departure … I have to smile at that word… yes …it is just me…going away …for a while. A very long …while. 

My dearest ones that I happen to love and be loved back, how I wish that you may remember me for only a short amount of time, I do not wish for you to feel pain or sorrow. If you must remember me, at least smile. My dear prince, I got to experience what deep love means. I do not think … not even for a bit that our love wasn’t true. Thank you for giving me what no one was able to give me.  
I was able to run … as fast as never before, my lungs burned so much, but as I saw your childlike smile I forgot all about the pain. We saw the sea where we experienced many wonderful moments, I am glad … to have been with you. We cooked together and you taught me so many things. Then I was alone for a while, I was usually in the gardens, but I liked waiting for your return. You grew weaker … but you reassured me it was a new medicine she…prepared for you. But steadily you changed, you were angry a lot, you hit me once and twice and …more, but I was used to pain so I forgave you easily. One day locked me up in this room, you started to become mad at me and the world and you let it out on me. Your eyes … were dying and so was my prince. 

 

Many times I’ve tried to bring you back but it never helped….I must be the wrong one for you.

 

So, my dear, loving prince. Thank you for all the moments, for the love you gave me. 

 

I open the vial and toast to my brothers and sisters, I do not know what will happen with my soul – if I even have one and I am scared, but deep inside of me I am aware that I must go, my time has come. I put the vial near my lips with the last breath I convince myself and drink it all – it has a sweet taste…sweet and slightly bitter – just like my life on this world.   
I feel how the world around me grows blurrier, I feel cold … my body feels light and powerless, I must lay down.

 

This …feels like a dream…a beautiful dream, like I am drowning in the sea, so soft and …painless. Finally, I am free.

I hear something, but its so far away so ..very far away. I try to open my eyes, but it’s so hard, so very hard to focus them on anything, I hear someone, crying. There it is – the source – my mind is so hazy, I can’t remember ….

 

There he is. The most beautiful being I have seen. He shines, but he is so sad and broken.

 

He is so sad, so beautiful and so sad, he is crying so much, why?

 

Don’t cry, don’t cry …all will be fine in the end, I promise. Lovely one, don’t cry.

 

I try to lift my hand but I can’t, he must have noticed because he pulls it to his cheeks and just cries on, then I hear him speak up

 

»What did you do, foolish princess…why…It’s all my fault,, isn’t it. Oh, don’t, don’t don’t please don’t leave me, you are all I had left, please not you, take me instead, but don’t leave me. Please! I beg you. Don’t….don’t you dare die, don’t you dare leave me alone…please.«

 

Oh, it’s … you, the one I love so much.

 

»I … love« and then it all ends, I feel being pulled away, a force so strong pulls me from him, my consciousness is leaving me…No! NO! Not yet let me tell him, let me tell him how I feel. He has to know. He must know that I loved him. But it’s far to late … 

PLEASE! LET ME TELL HIM HOW I FEEL!

A bright light envelopes me. 

“Choose your words wisely.”

 

For a moment time goes still, there is just me and him and I am strong, I can say what I wanna say.

 

I cup his cheek and he looks at me, with those sad eyes and I try to smile to reassure him, but it’s hard so we both cry, but at least I can go with letting him know »Darling, I love …you…« 

I utter those last three words, the last thing remaining from me in this world, in his heart. 

 

Farewell, my prince.

**Author's Note:**

> Haaa…this is an idea I had for a while now (because Saeran always calls MC princess) - so I thought what if…Saeran was right and the RFA was bad and he was the good guy from the beginning? I really enjoy this Idea, I actually am really, really excited!(*•̀ᴗ•́*)و ̑̑ Small warning though, there are mentions of abuse, nothing graphic. I truly hope you will like this series and enjoy reading it!₍՞◌′ᵕ‵ू◌₎♡


End file.
